🤝 support someone
Helping someone
Evidence-informed guidance for talking with someone who is struggling — including how to ask about suicide safely, and where to get backup.
🧭 framework
ALGEE — the Mental Health First Aid action plan
A globally used, evidence-based framework for supporting someone in mental-health distress. Each step is a tool, not a script.
- AApproach, assess, assist with any crisis
Choose a private, calm moment. Make sure both of you are physically safe before you start a difficult conversation.
- LListen non-judgementally
Slow down. Reflect what you hear. Do not interrupt, problem-solve, or compare their experience to anyone else’s.
- GGive support and information
Validate that what they are feeling is real. Share factual information about what they are going through if they want it — not opinions.
- EEncourage appropriate professional help
GP, psychologist, helpline, or an emergency service. Offer to help book the appointment or sit with them while they call.
- EEncourage other supports
Trusted friends, family, peer-support groups, exercise, sleep, and time outdoors all help recovery alongside professional care.
💬 say this
Phrases that help people feel heard
Short, validating openings that signal you can hold what they are about to share.
- "I’m here. Take your time."
- "That sounds really heavy. Thank you for telling me."
- "You don’t have to go through this on your own."
- "What would feel most helpful right now — do you want me to listen, or help you work out a next step?"
- "I believe you."
- "Whatever you’re feeling makes sense given what you’ve been through."
🚫 avoid
Phrases that shut conversations down
These are well-meaning but can land as dismissive or invalidating, especially in distress.
- "Just think positive."
- "Other people have it much worse."
- "You just need to get out more / sleep more / try yoga."
- "You seemed fine yesterday."
- "Everything happens for a reason."
- "At least it’s not…"
🗣️ language
Words that reduce stigma
Wording is a small change with a measurable impact on whether people seek help — these pairs follow Mindframe Australia’s safe-messaging guidance.
Why: Removes the criminal-era framing and reduces stigma for bereaved families.
Why: Avoids framing suicide as an achievement.
Why: Casual diagnostic labels trivialise serious illness for the people living with it.
Why: Slurs increase shame and reduce help-seeking.
Why: Distress behaviours are signals, not manipulation.
Why: "Clean / dirty" framing implies moral judgement.
Why: Aligned with safe-messaging guidelines for suicide reporting.
Source: Mindframe — Communicating about mental illness and suicide
❤️ ask directly
Talking about suicide safely
Avoiding the word does not protect anyone. Naming it gently, and listening, can save a life.
- Asking someone directly if they are thinking about suicide does not put the idea in their head — evidence consistently shows the opposite. It can reduce distress and open a path to help.
- Use clear, non-loaded language: "Are you thinking about suicide?" or "Are you having thoughts of ending your life?"
- If they say yes: stay calm, thank them for telling you, and stay with them. Move to the safety plan below.
- If they say no but you are still worried: tell them what you noticed and that you are there if anything changes.
Source: Black Dog Institute — talking to someone about suicide
🛡️ safety plan
If they tell you they are thinking about suicide
A short, evidence-based response sequence. Stay calm — your steady presence is doing real work.
- 1.Stay with them
Do not leave a person at acute risk alone. Keep tone calm and steady.
- 2.Reduce access to means
Together, move medications, weapons, ropes or other lethal means out of immediate reach. This single step is one of the strongest evidence-based prevention measures.
- 3.Get them connected
Call Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467) together — you can put it on speaker. If risk is imminent, call 000.
- 4.Plan the next 24 hours
Who will they be with tonight? When is their next professional appointment? What are the warning signs they want you to watch for?
- 5.Look after yourself
Debrief with someone you trust, or call Lifeline yourself. Supporting someone in crisis is heavy — you deserve support too.
Source: Stanley & Brown Safety Planning Intervention (Suicide Prevention Resource Center)
🚨 call 000 if
When to escalate immediately
It is always appropriate to call emergency services. You will not get someone in trouble for trying to keep them safe.
- !They have attempted, or are about to attempt, to harm themselves or someone else.
- !They are unconscious, having a seizure, or showing signs of a medical overdose.
- !They are unable to keep themselves safe and refuse to engage with any other support.
- !You feel out of your depth — it is always okay to call 000 and let trained responders take over.
🧠 practical
Sustainable support — in it for the long haul
Recovery is rarely linear. These habits help you stay present without burning out.
- You don’t need to fix it. Showing up consistently is the most powerful thing you can do.
- Ask before giving advice: "Do you want me to listen, or help problem-solve?"
- Check in regularly between crises — a short text on a quiet Tuesday means more than a long message in an emergency.
- Don’t take their mood personally. Depression, anxiety and trauma can all flatten warmth without it being about you.
- Set sustainable limits. "I can talk for the next 30 minutes" is honest support; promising 24/7 availability is not.
- Take care of your own mental health — supporting someone in distress is genuine emotional labour.
🤗 for you
Looking after yourself as a supporter
You can’t pour from an empty cup. Australian carer services are free and confidential.
Free Australian government service for carers — counselling, peer support and emergency respite.
Advocacy, info and peer connection for people supporting someone with mental illness.
24/7 phone and webchat — you can call as the support person, not just the person struggling.
Accredited 12-hour course that teaches the ALGEE framework used on this page.
This page is for peer support and is not a substitute for professional training. For accredited skills, consider a Mental Health First Aid course or ASIST training.